I always have this mixed feelings whenever Sundays approach. Sometimes, I do look forward to church services, at least I have a chance to see piggy. But sometimes, I have an heavy heart. I don't know how she will react if she sees me. I rather not let her see me, in case, she thinks of the past. I don't want to make her unhappy. I don't want to remind her of our past. Whenever I think of her crying, my heart is so sore. I had once told myself, I will never make her cry, ever. We had a big crying session during our trip to ManaMana. Thereafter, she cried afew more times. The last time was over the phone. She spent a whole day crying. My heart was crying too...my heart was soooo sore...I tell myself, I will do anything not to make her cry again. What she wants, I just give in to her. She is too precious to me for me to hurt her. I foolishly let her leave me...
Anyway, I went to church late, but only to discover the church was closed for their camp.
Met up with Kelvin to jog at ECP in the evening. Looking back at my running diary, the last time I ran at ECP was back in 5th Nov 2006. I did not have the courage to return to run at ECP then. ECP held too much memories of us. I ran my first 16km at ECP with her on the 27th Dec 2005, in a thurderstorm. During today's run, images of us running together flashed infront of my eyes. I would very much like to see her appearing infront of me. I keep looking around to see if there was anyone who looked like her. But I know it is impossible that she will run at ECP on Sunday evenings. Just a foolish thought from a foolish running man.
Good night la..piggy...
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