This is the first time I am writting a blog. I have never had the intention to write an online blog. But since this is going to be a private diary about myself, so I guess, no one will get to read it anyway.
So, why do I want to write a blog now?
I watched the TVB drama serial "溏心风暴“. One of the characters in this show wrote a diary, after him and his gf broke off, due to him been unfaithful to her. He was remoseful and wrote a dairy to describe his guilt and entered all his emotions into this personal diary. He asked for forgiveness from his gf. However, on the night, when his gf wrote him an email (after 800+ days of writting) to forgive him, he did not managed to see it. His character died in an car accident. It is regratful that he died witout relising that he has already been forgiven. He died with a heavy heart. Though this happened in a drama serial, but it may also happen in real life.
The show inspires me to pour out my own emotions in writting. I am dedicating this blog to my one and only relationship with piggy. It will contain my feelings, thoughts of the day etc. Hey, I don't need to self intro right? Since I am my only audience. But, to kick start a readable blog, I guess it is still necessary to intro abit of the history right?
My relationship with piggy started on the night of 9th Jan 2006. The whole incident remains clear in my head, even though it happened sometime back (hey, this is my most unforgetable event leh, how can I forget?). We spent many happy days together, going on trips, going to wedding dinners etc. We did many activites together too. If you asked me, I will tell you, this is the happpiest period of my life....I mean it. There was no major arguements between us. To me, she is the perfect partner, soulmate, playmate, jogging kaki, golfing kaki, trekking kaki all rolled into one. There were just too many happy events happened during this relationship for me to relate all one by one. But it remains clear in my heart still. This wonderful relationship was cut short a month before our 1st year anniversary. Gradually, she began to disappear from my life. If there is one day, I really go before you (just like the character in the show) I want to tell you, I have forgiven you. I love you too much to bear any hatred. I still want very much desire to be your friend, just like before, we used to be great buddy.
After the breakoff, I just cannot describe my world. It seemed to have collasped. I was not myself, even till today, as I write this. I was never been like this. I used to be a self driven person with goals in life. But it all disappeared. I guessed, I have placed too much into this relationship, even though my exterior did not show it. As a result, my non-chalant attitute has caused me my happiness. The lost was too much for me to bear. I am lucky to have family and friends around to support me during this difficult period. I dont want to disappoint them, I put on a brave front, I want to show them I have moved on. But my heart is still hurting. It really hurts. No joke. I guess writting this blog may help me to get by better.
Till now, it is 188 days, since we brokeoff, after our last trip to Mana Mana on Dec 10th 2006. It should be the 11th month anniversary of our relationship. I chose this as the ending date, as it is also the happiest trip with her in my life. It was during this trip, that I opened up myself to her. While many things happened to me during the 187 days, I will only write from 188 days onwards. We have to look foward to life, but looking backwards occasionally, to learn from the lessons, and to revive the sweet memories. Another purpose of this blog.
So during the many sleepless nights that I may have, I will spend it wisely by writting my thoughts of the day, may it be relating to piggy or my own life.
Good night fishy...and piggy...
No comments:
Post a Comment